Friday, March 30, 2007
ok. i'm back to singlehood. @ 6:54 PM
i don't wanna bully him.
i don't wanna cry and get angry because of that matter.
i think it's a good solution. to free both of us.
thanks for the care all these while. sweet memories treasured deeply.
there goes my first relationship.
Monday, March 26, 2007
@ 8:30 PM
pms. mood swing. jealousy. add them up and you get nothing pleasant at all.
yes. i am very jealous of daryl's ex girlfriends.
to be frank. i don't have the slightest bit of liking towards the 1st ex.
i hope i'll be his last gf. yeap.
call me selfish. i'm just being truthful here.
darlie, i sort of got over the matter because i really believe i'm being treated the nicest. erm. it'd better be lor.
if not, i will give you hell from now on. muahaha. you better pamper me with ice-cream, chocolates and things that i like whenever it's near pms. if i get sad and decide to recall everything and history repeats itself. tsk tsk tsk. not goin to be good for u!
*glare*
Thursday, March 22, 2007
crushed. @ 1:29 PM
not something new coz' i got to know it long ago. yet not something i can just leave behind. many can, i just seem to be unable to do it.
my week is crushed. my mood is crushed. i am down. very down. like i just got hit by a major blow. cried during lecture.. cried when walking across the overhead bridge. someone, save me. i'm insane
i know how things should go. all in the past. leave the past behind. let it go. embrace the future.
everyone has the same answer and advice for me.
you're nice. i don't wanna lose you. there's nothing i can ask of you either.
why can't i just be your first girlfriend...? this question kept appearing.
liting asked me what am i concerned or unhappy about. i don't have an answer. i just feel so heart-broken whenever i think of what had happened.
i don't want to FORGET whatever i've heard. i did it before. but whenever it's being brought back to my mind, i'm crushed. so, forgetting does not help at all. i need to ACCEPT it. i want to. i guess. so we can carry on.
and where should this power come from?
must all of us accept whatever that have happened before we got to know him/her? we have to accept if we wanna carry on. i think this is quite bullshit. this is UNFAIR. and here i am, telling myself i need to accept this unfair bullshit.
damn.
Friday, March 09, 2007
rubbish post @ 10:53 PM
some people view blogs as nothing and meaningless. some people view blogs as their life. some hold neutral views. i was quite taken aback when i heard what a friend said the other day. haha. maybe sometimes we do use harsh tones at the wrong time.
my blog serves as my personal diary and a means for my friends who are not able to meet up with me often to know my current situation. blogging beautiful pictures helps me keep my beautiful memories too. :)
i don't really know how to describe my feelings lately. kinda complicated.
school workload has piled up like dunno-what. stressed. especially when there are tutorial reports, out-of-a-sudden write-ups in class, essays due on same week.... the more i realize i have no time, the more scared i get. and when that happens, i will try to evade and really don't feel like doing my work. that is bad. really bad.
nonetheless, i force myself to complete the tutorial report on wednesday and i finished my gen bio essay today! so, i only have to rush out my chinese essay using tmr, sunday and perhaps monday.
i dread school lately. i went to school with the lousiest feeling on monday morning. i actually felt sad when i woke up this morning because i know i am brought back to reality and there are many deadlines to meet. went for class and discovered i wrote crap for the surprise tutorial write-up last week. tmd. went for japanese class and realized i don't understand a single shit from the long story (cassette tape) played to us. i think i am falling into deep shit in my last semester in uni. yes. it's definitely going to be my last semester. i can't take it anymore. i've lost interest in studying...
okay la. besides feeling super lousy because of school stuff, my friends and daryl helped to make my life better. met up with june (thanks for the wonderful x'mas gift!!) and ps last friday when we went to ps house to bainian. we really had a good long talk. 2 hours long?? and still not enough! haha. there shall be another round soon.
saturday was a day at 2nd aunt's house. our usual way of celebrating CNY. but it was special this time round coz' we celebrated erjiu's birthday for him for the very first time!! everyone was so happy. :) i have pictures as proof!
but we ate too late, causing dear to have gastric flu for the next few days. he just recovered. hah. sorry mudpie! think my mum likes daryl more than me now. grrrrhhh. she cares more for him larr. @#$!$#@%$
i wanna go cycling. anyone interested??
i want to go SOMEWHERE/ANYWHERE for vacation after graduation this may or june............. i really wanna leave singapore for a while.....
a very lousy post. hah.